Improvement begins – flexing my muscles

So I’ve been vacillating about whether or not I am going to do this whole blog thing for about a week now.  Today I just got frustrated and said this is ridiculous, I’m doing this.  There’s a chance that I might fail or screw it up but as I told someone earlier this week, if you’ve already decided that you’re going to fail, then you already have failed.  So, onward-forward-march we go.

Since I’ve just randomly decided to do this today, I’m not exactly prepared which is a really strange place for me to be in.  Being as incredibly OCD as I am, I almost always have a plan.  And yet here I am, plan-less.  So, with no plan in mind and no time to form one I’m just going to roll with it (hell, that could be an improvement in its own right).

Day 1: workout – that’s my entire goal for today.  Let me give you some back story here… for nearly 16 years I lived in the water.  I swam competitively, taught swim lessons, lifeguarded, managed aquatics facilities, coached swim teams, taught lifeguarding lessons, you name it.  I’m relatively certain I smelled like chlorine for 16 years solid.  When I went off to college I knew that I was not going somewhere that had an active college swim team and that I would have to find new ways to stay in shape without the team environment.  As usual, I put on the freshman 15 but I did pretty good otherwise.  I walked/ran for 3 miles nearly every night with a few girls in my dorm and joined the water polo team.   Then on my first day back at college my sophomore year, tragedy struck.  As my mother and I were leaving campus P.D. after picking up my parking permit and heading across the street to get books for my new semester we were waiting on the sidewalk when we heard what sounded like a crash.  We looked right (into oncoming traffic) to notice to our horror that a vehicle was headed directly for us at a great rate of speed.  I remember looking back at my mom, both of us screaming, and lunging forward.  Fortunately my mother was not injured however the cars right front side hit me square in the top of my right butt cheek before crashing into the tree behind me (oh yeah, at 60mph!!!).  We were lucky.  Our injuries could have been much more severe and the emergency personnel who arrived on scene assured me that had we not gotten in the one large step forward that we did I would have likely been crushed between the tree and the car.  Scary thought.

The car

The car

That's me on the stretcher prior to being taken to the ER.

That's me on the stretcher prior to being taken to the ER.

I went to the hospital and they found no major damage except some minor internal bleeding which was essentially a huge bruise that was forming and was expected to (and did) heal on its own.  It took several weeks before I would walk like a normal person (without limping) or sit or lay down.  I even had to stand in the back of my classes for several weeks because I couldn’t sit.  Once the bruising and soreness was mostly gone, I thought the worst of it was over.  I was wrong.

I found that my back hurt, a lot, and all the time.  After talking to my stepmother about this she recommended that I see her chiropractor.  For anyone who hasn’t ever gone to one, it can be sort of scary.  I honestly was afraid that he would break something during the adjustment.  However, after going through x-rays and various tests it was concluded that the accident had knocked my entire spinal column out of whack and I would need a series of adjustments to deal with the pain.  The really bad news?  This would be a lifetime thing.  Once you’re out of alignment your spine always has a tendency to slip back after an adjustment.  So, the adjustments began.  Now, I was told to take it easy for a while and I did, but I then got out of rhythm and couldn’t find it again.  Since then, I have hardly exercised at all (with the exception of the summer of my junior year when I started trail running with the pup every day).  Conclusion?  I’ve gained 100 (yup, that’s right, I said 100) pounds since the start of my sophomore year.  OK, deep breath, I cannot believe I just admitted that to everyone reading this, but, this is about being accountable right?  In, out, in, out… ok, hyperventilating over…. So needless to say I’m in the worst shape of my life and I feel like the Michelin man (I frequently referred to myself as this during my engagement period when trying on my wedding dress).  Now, I’m all for owning what you’ve got and being proud of it and what not but still, this is ridiculous.  I must put this in there or the hubs will give me a hard time… I’m not ugly.  I really do know that.  However, I’m seriously disappointed in myself.  I cannot believe that I let myself get this way.  I deserve better and I know that I can BE better.  So, enter day 1 of the challenge… working out.

When you’re as overweight as I am, working out takes on a whole new meaning.  I definitely can’t start running right away (not to mention I have a busted knee but that’s an entirely different backstory for another day).  Also, I can’t afford a gym membership.  The one thing that is on the right track in my life is finances.  The hubs and I have a great budget in place and there will be no deviating!  So, I don’t want to allocate money towards a gym membership.  Fortunately, you can work out at home, or in your neighborhood, for basically nothing.  Several months ago I bought a couple of workout DVDs and although they might not be difficult for the majority of the human population, they are for me.  You have to start somewhere though.  Enter Jillian Michaels: Yoga Meltdown.

Jillian Michaels: Yoga Meltdown

I don’t have a fondness for Jillian Michaels per-say, but I purchased this because it’s Yoga meets bodyweight training and I could use some more muscles and some more flexibility in my body (and my life).  So, now I’m drenched in sweat but I have to admit I feel good because even the two workout girls in the video are sweating right along with me.  So, go me.

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3 responses to “Improvement begins – flexing my muscles

  1. Go you! It probably didn’t feel good at the time, but you feel much better about yourself afterwards. Remember that when it is time to pull out the yoga mat again.

  2. Pingback: Anything above zero is progress « changingmymarbles

  3. Pingback: Fitness Update | Changing My Marbles

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