If you’d been inside my head recently you’d know that I’ve been freaking out about this whole ‘house thing.’ A few weeks ago I posted about the stress that we’re currently experiencing regarding our living situation. We need to move out of our current space and would love to buy a house. Like masochists, we went looking at houses without really thinking it through and naturally, we fell in love. We qualify for the mortgage that we’d need but we want to put down a sizeable down payment and pay off both cars before we make a move. So, the hubs and I decided to put our noses to the grindstone and start bringing in some extra cash. He’s been working a lot of side jobs and taking on-call weekends at work and I have taken on a second job as a nanny in the afternoons for a 6-year old girl. We’re exhausted and we’re not getting to spend much time together (and when we do we’re too tired to do anything more than just sit side-by-side and breathe) but I have to admit, it’s making a difference. We’ve already nearly got one car totally paid off. Once that happens, we’ll take what we were paying on car 1 and roll it into the payments on car 2 plus add additional monies from our second job. Good times.
That being said, I’m still totally freaking out internally. Is this the right decision for us? (I truly believe that it is) At the rate we’re going will we even like each other by the time we get there? (We’re still doing our monthly date night to ensure that we get some quality time together each month) Will our friends and family still love us after we basically ignore them for a few months? (Only time will tell with this one but we’re hoping the answer is YES!) Once we have the house how are we going to be able to afford to decorate it/maintain it? (Hopefully with no more debt to worry about besides the mortgage payment we can take care of this slowly and DIY a lot of it) Etc… etc… etc…
These are the things that are plaguing my mind. In a weird way I’m soooo thankful for the second job because I’m too tired at night to lose sleep over these questions. However, it doesn’t stop me from continually rolling these questions around in my head during the day. Wednesday I had sort of minor meltdown and called the hubs to vent. Mostly, I’m just stressed. Thank goodness he knows me well enough to know what all is really going on. Thursday morning I woke up to this text from the hubs. I swear I fell in love with him all over again.
Good morning Babie Girl. I know you’re worrying about a lot of things. I don’t want you to worry about whether I love you, like you, want to be married to you, or anything like that. I am in love with you and I believe you and I are a perfect fit. I know we have a shared dream and I can count on you to fight the good fight. I am so proud of you for being willing to take on a second job to help US have a better future. I don’t want you to think I’m not doing my share. I believe in US and OUR dream and I want to work hard towards that dream. Please don’t think because I’m working hard and tired and sometimes stressed that that in any way means that I don’t love you. It’s the exact opposite. I love you so much and I’m so proud that you’re willing to fight and I want you to know that I’m in the fight with you.
I feel so blessed to have married this wonderful man. He’s willing to fight with me to make our dreams a reality and that’s such an amazing thing. I know a lot of people who have dreams but aren’t willing to sacrifice to make those dreams a reality or live a ‘silver spoon’ lifestyle and don’t have to sacrifice to make those dreams become real. Personally, I think when you have to fight and claw for it you appreciate it so much more. How lucky am I to have married a man who is willing to take on the world with me?