Movie Review: The Expendables 2

So no shocker here – this is a total ‘boy movie.’  What I mean by this is that there’s very little plot and very little dialog – mostly it’s just really muscled dudes blowing crap up.

If you can’t guess, this definitely was not my choice of movie.  As it was my husband’s birthday he got to pick (aren’t I a nice wife?  Ha).  I haven’t seen the first Expendables movie so I can’t tell you how this one stacked up to its predecessor but I can tell you that I wasn’t bored to tears.  I didn’t hate the movie.  It did have some really funny lines.  I love that they made fun of themselves.  The movie stars 10 of the biggest movie badasses from the last several decades as well as Liam Hemsworth as Billy the Kid (if you’ve been hiding under a rock, Hemsworth recently stared in The Hunger Games).

Here are the 10 badasses and the characters they play (in no particular order)

Sylvester Stallone – Barney Ross
Jason Statham – Lee Christmas
Jet Li – Yin Yang
Dolph Lundgren – Gunner Jensen
Chuck Norris – Booker
Jean-Claude Van Damme – Villan
Bruce Willis – Church
Arnold Schwarzenegger – Trench
Terry Crews – Hale Cesar
Randy Couture – Toll Road

Naturally after watching this movie the Husband and I got into a discussion/debate over who would win if you actually put all these guys together in a ring in real life (i.e. no faking it).  We assumed that we’re playing with time here and these guys would all be fighting in their hayday (i.e. not now when they’re old enough to be grandparents).  Here’s what we came up with (there’s some dissention in the ranks between the Hubs and I on this but we compromised):

  1. Jet Li
  2. Chuck Norris
  3. Jean-Claude Van Damme
  4. Randy Couture
  5. Jason Statham
  6. Sylvester Stallone
  7. Arnold Schwarzenegger
  8. Bruce Willis
  9. Dolph Lundgren
  10. Terry Crews

Here are some of my favorite lines from the movie:

Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger):  I’m back!

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone):  I heard you were bitten by a king cobra?
Booker (Chuck Norris):  That’s right.  But after five days of excruciating pain… the cobra died.

Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger):  I’ll be back!
Church (Bruce Willis):  You’ve been back enough.  I’ll be back.

Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger):  I need a gun, something big. [looks at Caesar’s gun]
Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger):  Yours!
Hale Caesar (Terry Crews):  No way, my weapon’s hanging right where it is.
Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone):  Give it to him Caesar, you got a back up. [Caesar reluctantly hands over his gun].
Hale Caesar (Terry Crews):  If I don’t get this back, your ass is terminated!
Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger):  In your dreams.

Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger):  [to Booker (Chuck Norris)]  Who’s next?  Rambo?

Also, I found this on Facebook the other day and just had to share.  Enjoy…

What do you think of our list of who would win in a fight?  Do you agree?  Disagree?  I’d love to know!


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